Never Have I Ever
by sirius ordo
Summary: Written for the 2017 MEFFW Secret Santa Fic Exchange. A holiday party, mistletoe, and a drinking game. What could possibly happen? FShenko.


_A/N: I hope everyone had a great holiday season. This was written as my gift fic for AlyssAleko for the Mass Effect Secret Santa Fic Exchange 2017. I was thrilled with this match. After signing up I'd looked through the requests and saw this one. I loved it and considered writing something for it, whether I received it or not. Imagine my excitement and surprise when I opened my assignment email and found I'd been matched with her. I really loved writing this! Thanks again to JediSerenity82 for beta'ing this for me!_

 **Never Have I Ever**

"Mistletoe!"

"You have to kiss her, Major!" Samantha's delighted voice added, pointing at a green sprig above the couple.

This was the third time they'd been caught standing underneath a piece of the holiday plant this evening. It seemed like the devilish little things were hanging all over the rec room. Although it was possible that some of the crew was taking great delight in moving it around or maybe it just felt that way to Shepard.

She didn't mind kissing Kaidan, honestly she didn't. Who would? It was just the constant displays of public affection were dangerous for them. If Alliance Command got wind of their relationship, there could be consequences. At best, one of them may be reassigned, at worst they could face a court martial for fraternization. She honestly didn't want to go through that again. As they were Spectres, they were technically Council representatives and outside the Alliance's direct command, but this was still an Alliance ship and she just didn't want to take the chance. She wasn't sure she could do this without Kaidan at her side.

Before Shepard could protest, the Major leaned in and gently pressed his lips to hers. Closing her eyes, she let herself enjoy his touch, but it seemed to end just as quickly as it began. "Don't worry so much," he whispered against her lips.

"Can't help it, it's my job," she returned with a smile.

"For tonight," Kaidan added as he used a fingertip to trace along her jawline. "For me?"

"I'll try," Shepard answered. As they parted, she became aware of the cheers and catcalls of their friends and crew-members around them. She shook her head. Everyone meant well, but all it would take was one anonymous complaint to Command and she could lose him again….

"Shepard," Kaidan sighed, knowing she was already losing the battle. "Everyone here just wants to share our happiness with us. There isn't enough of it in the galaxy right now. Let them celebrate."

"You're right," she said, slipping her hand into his and squeezing it gently. "Thanks."

"You're welcome," he replied, squeezing back.

"Anyway," James said, coming up behind them and nudging Shepard's shoulder with his larger one. "You and Alenko are one of the worst kept secrets in the galaxy. No use in trying to hide it anyway."

"James!" she sputtered, rubbing her shoulder. Sometimes the big guy just didn't know his own strength.

"What?" he smirked at them. "It's the truth and everyone here but you knows it."

"You know he's right," Garrus added, joining the small circle of friends. "Relax and enjoy the party."

"Garrus! Not you too," Shepard moaned.

"Shepard, I spent a lot of time in the shuttle bay on the first Normandy with that guy," Garrus said, tilting his toward Kaidan and tapping his own nose. "There was no hiding his attraction to you every time you were in the room."

The Major's cheeks flushed at the comment, but he didn't bother trying to deny the truth.

"Do not forget the pool," Tali said from beside Garrus, her words badly slurred.

"Pool?" Shepard questioned, curious.

"On when you two would finally hook up, get vertical, do the deed," Joker explained, joining the expanding group and taking a pull from the beer in his hands. "Got pretty large too, didn't realize the Turian had inside information."

"By the way, you still owe me fifty credits." The aforementioned Turian told Joker.

"The check's in the mail," the pilot answered before turning back to Shepard and Kaidan. "You really should consider moving out from the under the mistletoe," he said, pointing above their heads. "Before Traynor decides you need to kiss him again."

"Did someone call me?" Samantha asked, as if conjured by the mere mention of her name. "By the way, if you're still under the mistletoe in another minute, it will be another kiss."

"What?" Traynor asked when everyone started laughing at the comment.

"Told ya," Joker said with a smug smirk.

"I don't mind kissing Kaidan," Shepard retorted before giving the man a quick kiss to prove her point. "It's just the public displays that make me uneasy."

"This is your crew," Samantha automatically reassured the commander, unknowingly echoing earlier reassurances. "No one will turn you in — no one."

"Thanks Samantha," Shepard said, as Kaidan wrapped in arm around her waist, "thanks everyone, really."

"Now that we got the mushy stuff out of the way, how about we have some fun?" Joker suggested with a smirk.

"What do you suggest?" Tali asked.

"A drinking game," Joker answered.

"Truth or Dare?" James offered with a grin. "Got some ideas for some good dares."

"I don't know," Shepard replied hesitantly. She didn't like to think about some of the dares that James could come up with.

"I was thinking more like 'Never Have I Ever', easier for the cripple than some of the dares that you guys think up," Joker countered, finishing off his beer, "easier to learn the deep dark secrets people are hiding too."

"I'm game," Vega said to no one's surprise.

After taking a moment and giving Joker a calculating look, Shepard replied, "If Joker's offering up a chance to learn some of his secrets I'm in.'

"I'm an open book," the pilot laughed, "just ask me."

Shepard was well aware that wasn't exactly true. Joker cracked jokes and poked fun at himself and others as a deterrence technique. It kept them from getting too close. If he didn't let them in, they couldn't hurt him. "We'll see about that," she mused aloud, glancing at him.

"I'm in," Kaidan said. "Garrus?"

"Sure, why not?" the Turian answered. "Tali?" he asked. When he didn't receive an answer, Garrus glanced over his shoulder and saw the Quarain already passed out on a nearby couch. "Guess she's out," he nearly purred with amusement.

After clearing off a nearby table, the group started to sit down and get comfortable. "Care to join us, Esteban?" James called out to his friend standing nearby.

Turning at his name, Steve asked, "What's going on?"

"Never have I ever with these guys." Vegas answered.

Glancing around, Steve made his way over to the table, grinning as he pulled out a chair and plopped himself down into it. "I'm going to enjoy this."

Laughing, Kaidan stood up and went to the nearby bar. He grabbed some clean shot glasses and handed them to James, who passed them out to the players. Next, Kaidan found a few bottles of alcohol, plus something special for Garrus, and brought them back to the table, putting all but one in the center of the table. After he sat down and filled the small tumbler, he handed the bottle to Shepard, who filled hers and passed it on.

"Everyone ready?" Shepard asked after everyone had filled their shots.

"For those of us that've never played before," Garrus said, getting a disbelieving look from all the other players, "Okay for me — what are the rules?"

"We'll take turns, going around the table, making a statement 'never have I ever' and an action." Shepard explained to her friend. "Such as, never have I ever kissed a girl," all of the players, except Steve, picked up their drinks and knocked them back, putting the empty tumbler back on the table upside down. "You can ask just about anything you want to know about the other players." Picking up her glass, Shepard swallowed the liquid and put it back on the table upside down. She shrugged a shoulder at a few of the questioning looks. "I experimented a little when I was younger."

"Understood," Garrus said, picking up his own shot and finishing it off.

"My turn," Steve declared from Shepard's other side after the glasses were all full again. "Never have I ever kissed a guy." Grabbing his shot, Steve swallowed it in one go. Putting it back on the table upside, he added, "Needed that one."

No one was surprised when Shepard took her shot or when Kaidan quickly followed her example and knocked back his drink with a grin. An eyebrow or two went up when James picked up his drink and knocked it back. "What? he asked, glancing around. "I experimented when I was young, too."

"Was?" Kaidan ribbed. "You're still a kid."

"An old man like you would know," James quickly quipped back.

Kaidan snorted back a laugh and saluted the younger man with his empty glass before setting it on the table and filling it again.

"My turn," James said, looking from Garrus on one side of him and Shepard a few seats down on the other. "Never have I ever kissed an alien." He didn't touch the drink in front of him and instead watched his friends around the table.

Garrus was the first one to pick up his shot. He silently saluted the group and swallowed the liquid. Setting it down, he picked up his bottle and refilled it. Without a word, Traynor picked hers and drank her shot. Grinning, Joker refilled it for her. Eyes scanned the table to see if anyone else would take a drink until they finally settled on Shepard.

Taking a deep breath, she seemed to steel herself against something before picking up the small tumbler and quickly swallowing the shot. Biting her lip, she put the empty glass back and leaned into Kaidan seated next to her. He automatically wrapped an arm around her and pulled her closer to him.

The silence hung heavily between them, no one knowing exactly what to say or ask. Finally James broke the silence, looking at Garrus and Shepard and asked, "Soooo—enlighten us. Each other?"

Garrus sputtered and choked in indignation. "What?"

"You were on the ship together under Cerberus, you're good friends, and you've both kissed an alien," James explained. "Makes sense."

"If you don't have all the facts maybe," Garrus retorted, shaking his head. "It was Tali if you must know."

"Oh!" James said, leaning back in his chair, looking from the Turian to the Quarian and back. "Oh! I didn't… ummmm... yeah…." he continued, rubbing the back of his neck. "I didn't know."

"It wasn't yet common knowledge," Garrus said, glancing over at his sleeping girlfriend.

"Congratulations," Shepard smiled at her friends. "The universe could use more happy right now."

The rest of the table quickly followed suit, offering well wishes for the couple. After everyone fell silent, James started to ask, "Then who?"

"Thane," Shepard answered.

"The Drell on the Citadel?" James questioned.

"Yeah," Shepard confirmed, her voice barely above a whisper.

"I'm sorry, Shepard. What was he there for?" James asked.

"Kepral's Syndrome."

"Oh damn," the younger soldier groaned, leaning back in the chair and running an agitated hand across his short hair. "I…." he trailed off, not knowing what to say.

Shepard's ill-fated relationship with the Drell assassin wasn't a secret, not really. She knew if their mission didn't kill them, his disease would eventually shorten their time together. It made her treasure every moment she'd had with Thane, and she wouldn't trade it for anything in the universe. Nothing…

"Don't worry," she waved him off. "You didn't know."

"Thanks," he replied, happy that he hadn't accidentally brought up something the Commander preferred not to think about. Sitting quietly for a moment, she could see he was thinking about something, finally he asked puzzled, "But I thought... you and the Major?"

"Weren't together at the time," Kaidan explained. "And I don't begrudge her that time with Thane. He took care of her and loved her when I couldn't." After he finished, Shepard snuggled deeper into his embrace as he kissed the top of her head lovingly.

After basking in Kaidan's warmth, Shepard sat up with a smile and asked, "Who's turn?"

The game continued on. They ribbed each other, joked, and smiled. Everyone took a turn asking questions or downing a drink when they'd done the 'never' asked. They learned about their crew-mates, their pasts and a few secrets. More importantly, they took a moment to relax and have fun.

"My turn," Joker smirked, resting his arms on the table. "Never have I ever had threesome." He looked from person to person, waiting to see if anyone would take a drink until finally someone moved.

Shrugging a shoulder, Samantha picked up the glass in front of her, saluted the table before downing the liquid.

"Traynor?" Joker said, astonished.

"What can I say," she answered, refilling her drink. "I experimented," she deadpanned, echoing others earlier words.

That broke the ice, there was no stopping it. The table erupted into laughter. They laughed until the humans had tears in their eyes. When Shepard managed to pull herself together, she said, "My turn." Giving Joker an almost evil look she asked, "Never have I ever had sex in the pilot seat of the Normandy."

"Hey! Not my chair!" Joker shouted.

Smirking at him, Shepard slowly picked up the shot glass and swallowed the liquor in one gulp, before smacking the empty down on the table.

" _Shepard?!_ " the pilot groaned, slumping in his seat.

Next was James, picking up the tumbler he swallowed the shot in one go. After refilling it, he leaned back in his seat and clasped his hands behind his head. "What can I say, she was worth it."

When Traynor, Garrus, and Steve quickly followed, Joker face palmed and slipped further down into his seat. "Tell me you haven't desecrated my chair too?" Joker said, looking pointedly at Kaidan.

"Yeah well," the other man mumbled apologetically as he picked up his glass. "Who do you think was with Shepard?" Finishing the shot, he put the empty back on the table.

Staring at the ceiling petulantly, Joker demanded, "Has anyone _not_ had sex in my chair?!"

Resting her elbow on the table, Shepard put her chin on her palm, smiled at Joker and the full glass in front of him. She said sweetly, "Apparently you."

Turning sharply to the commander, Joker glared at her and gave her the middle finger salute, making the table of players erupt in laughter again. "Yeah, yeah laugh it up," Joker said as he stood up and started to walk away. "We'll see who gets the last laugh."

Leaning against Kaidan's side, Shepard tried to catch her breath. Who knew that Joker's pilot chair was such a popular hot spot? Or that he left it often enough for everyone to use it as often as they had! Poor Joker….

"Not sure he was ready for that answer," Garrus chuckled as he stood up and walked over to the couch where Tali was sleeping. He gently shook her awake and whispered, "Time for bed."

"Mmmmm… okay," she mumbled, sitting up.

Garrus helped her stand up and wrapped a steadying arm around her waist. "Thanks everyone, it's been a great party but it's getting late and some of us have some calibrations to take care of in the morning."

"Night Garrus," Shepard and the other players replied, as the pair slowly turned and headed for the door.

"He's right, it is late and I need to hit the gym tomorrow before duty," James said, stretching as he stood up. "Catch you guys later," he added before heading for the elevator.

"Yeah me too, a shuttle repair in the morning for me." Cortez said, standing up and yelling for Vega to wait for him.

"Apurate amigo!" James replied, as he grabbed the door and kept it from closing. Steve stepped into the elevator and stood between Garrus and James as the doors slid shut.

"My turn to say goodnight," Traynor said to the pair left at the table as she waved at a crewman along the far wall. "I had fun, thanks for including me."

"Thank you for organizing the Christmas party," Shepard smiled at the other woman.

"You're welcome, we needed something to celebrate." Walking away Samantha added, "Have a good night, sirs."

"You too," they replied in unison, as Traynor joined a small group of people.

"It was a great party," Kaidan said, giving Shepard's hand a squeeze under the table. "Shall we call it a night and let the crew party without the officers here?"

"Come to my quarters for a private after party?" she asked with a wink. For a little added persuasion, she dragged the knuckles of their joined hands along his inner thigh and making Kaidan's breath catch in the back of his throat.

"Sounds good," he managed in a steady voice, even as their hands rubbed against his pant-clad cock. "Shall we?"

"The sooner the better," Shepard agreed, letting go of Kaidan's hand. She let her fingertips stroke along the bulge in his pants, before she pulled her hand from underneath the table, stood up, and started for the door.

"You're evil, Shepard." Kaidan groaned, lagging behind as he tried to regain some control over his body.

"I know," she laughed, waiting for him at the door. "But you wouldn't change me."

"No," he readily agreed, "I wouldn't." Even after all this time, the memory of losing her was still very fresh and painful. She was here, she was alive and they were together again. He could never dream of possibly changing anything about her or their situation. When he was finally able to stand up without making it obvious what they'd been doing under the table, Kaidan quickly joined her. "Let's go."

Shepard flashed him a grin as they walked into the hallway and across to the lift. Slapping the pad on the wall, she called it back and they waited silently for it to return. A few seconds later the doors slid open and they stepped in, the door closing automatically. She punched the button for her quarters and as it started to ascend, she leaned into Kaidan's larger body next to her and he wrapped an arm around her waist. She couldn't help a soft sigh of contentment. It was the little moments like this that made it all worth it.

"What the hell?" Shepard cursed when the lift jerked to a halt, nearly knocking her off her feet. At the same time the power cut out, killing the lights and throwing them into pitch black darkness for a brief few moments before the emergency lights kicked on.

"That's weird," Kaidan said as he steadied her.

Patting his arm in thanks, Shepard looked up and called out, "EDI?" When she didn't get the immediate anticipated response, she tried again. "EDI, answer me."

"Yes, Commander?" she reluctantly answered.

"EDI what's going on?"

"It seems the main power to the elevator has been cut," EDI needlessly explained.

"I figured that much EDI, we're stuck in here," Shepard said, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Why's the power out?"

"Revenge Shepard," Joker voice suddenly sounded over the speaker.

"Joker? What...?"

"Desecrating my chair," the pilot said. "Really? I have to sit here. And to know that everyone has used it for their..." he hesitated, searching for the word, "extracurricular activities! Ugh! It won't ever be the same."

Looking up at the speaker in the ceiling, Shepard tried to explain, "Joker I…" but he cut her off.

"Luckily, EDI understands, she knows how I feel about the Normandy, my chair and her, so she helped me out."

That sounded ominous and made Shepard almost afraid to ask — almost. "What's going on, Jeff?"

"All power to the ship's elevator has been cut," EDI explained for him, "And can't be reestablished until the engineering crew come on duty in the morning."

"That means no propulsion, lights, surveillance, and after I cut this call, all communications systems," Joker laughed. "Next time think you'll reconsider defiling a guy's chair. Have a good night guys!" As soon as he finished speaking, the line the line cut out.

"Joker!" Shepard angrily demanded. "EDI!" Neither answered. "Dammit!" She sagged against the wall behind her and rubbed her temples in aggravation.

"You okay?" Kaidan asked, stepping closer.

"No," she sighed, aggravated with Joker. "He stranded us here!"

"Yeah, but are you really surprised?"

"No, not really," she answered, running a hand through her hair with a small smile. "And honestly that night was still well worth it."

"Even if we have to spend the rest of the night here?" Kaidan asked, moving closer and resting his forearm against the wall near her head.

"Even if," Shepard reassured him as she looked up through her eyelashes. "Too bad though, I had plans for the rest of the night."

"What kind of plans?" he questioned as he leaned in and stroked her jawline with his fingertips.

She could feel her pulse quicken and her breath hitched. Having him so close, touching her was making her mind fog and thinking clearly was getting difficult. Lacing her tone with the desire she was feeling, Shepard whispered, "One that involved you, me, fewer clothes, and a bed." Slowly licking her lips, she added, "On second thought, the bed was optional."

"God Shepard," Kaidan groaned, continuing to stroke her cheek. "You can't say things like that when we can't do anything about it."

She could feel his rock hard cock pressed against her tummy. She needed to feel more of him... all of him. Reaching up, she threaded her fingers into the hair on the back of his head, taking care to avoid his implant. "Who said we can't?" she asked, before yanking his head down and desperately crashing their lips together.

She was nearly overwhelmed by him. The feeling of his body so close to hers, the fragrance of his aftershave mixed with a musky scent that was uniquely Kaidan, and the taste of him in her mouth. It was a heady mix and she loved it and had missed it when they were apart.

When the need for air made them break the kiss, Kaidan rested his forehead against hers. "We can't," he breathed heavily, "EDI."

"No audio or video feeds," Shepard said, pressing her heated core against him, "Means no EDI."

Needing no more prompting, Kaidan kissed her. This kiss reflected his growing passion, all tongue and teeth; exploring, licking, sucking and tasting. The more he took, the more he wanted. He could never get enough of her.

Breaking the kiss, Kaidan grasped a handful of her hair and gently but firmly pulled her head to the side, exposing the sensitive skin of her neck. He rained down on the flesh, from just below her ear to her pulse point and back. She moaned lustily when he nipped and sucked her ear lobe. "I love you," he whispered breathlessly.

"I love you, too."

"I need you," Kaidan moaned. He thrust his hips against her, trying to create some friction and relieve the tension building inside of him.

"Need you, too," she managed, running a hand down his side, she pulled his shirt out of his waistband of his pants. Not bothering with the snaps, Shepard grabbed two handful of fabric on the front of the shirt and yanked it open, shoving it off of him. Nearly purring in contentment, she stroked the muscles of his chest and down to his abs. She traced the light hair of his 'happy trail' down until it disappeared under the waistband of his pants. She dragged her fingers back and forth along the top of his pants, almost tickling the sensitive skin.

"Too many clothes," he mumbled, grasping the tab of the zipper on her N7 hoodie and lowered it tooth by tooth with what felt like excruciating slowness. He pushed it off her shoulders and Shepard wiggled out of it, letting it fall to the floor. Sliding down her body, Kaidan knelt in front of her, all the time keeping his gaze locked on hers. Releasing the hidden closures on the boot, he pulled it off and tossed it behind him. He took off her sock and stroked the soft skin of her calf. Putting her foot down on the deck, he quickly repeated the procedure with the other boot, putting her foot back on the floor, before standing up.

She bit her lip and watched him efficiently undo her belt and unfastened her pants. Wrapping his his fingers into the fabric of her panties and pants, he pushed both down over the swell of her hips until they pooled at her feet. She stepped out of them and kicked them out of their way. She was left standing in front of him in nothing but her tank top.

"So beautiful," he whispered, stepping closer. Sliding his hands behind her thighs, Kaidan picked her up. He felt her legs wrap around his waist and pull him tightly to her. He could feel her heated core pressed firmly against his achingly hard cock. When she grinded herself against him, Kaidan groaned and nipped her shoulder.

"Kaidan," she whined, thrusting herself into him again, desperately seeking some relief from the growing ache deep inside of her. "Please."

"What do you need, Shepard?" he asked, stroking her side. He pushed up her tank top until her breasts were exposed to the cool air, making the nipples pebble. Reaching out, he circled one with the tip of a finger then the other.

Her hips bucked in response and she moaned, "You — in me. Now!"

Reaching between their bodies, Kaidan unfastened his pants, pushing down his boxer briefs and pants just far enough to free his rock hard cock. He was past ready for this, he ached to feel her. The head of his weeping cock lined up perfectly with the heat of Shepard's opening. "Ready?"

Nodding her head, Shepard grabbed his shoulders and held on.

In one powerful stroke, Kaidan sheathed himself deeply inside of Shepard's body. Crushing their lips together in a rough kiss, Kaidan swallowed her shout of passion as he stretched and filled every inch of her.

When she finally broke the kiss, Shepard demanded, "Now — move."

"Yes ma'am," he replied, pulling out slowly and thrusting back into her heat.

He'd do anything for her. He'd lost Shepard over Alchera. Kaidan had watched as the Normandy exploded and streak across the sky, taking his life with it. He never thought he'd get another chance, but by some miracle, she was here in his arms again and he swore he'd never screw it up again. He'd die first.

"Yes," Shepard murmured, digging her nails into his shoulders and matching his pace.

"Careful," Kaidan hissed in pleasurable pain, thrusting into her again.

Arching her back against the wall, she pressed her center into him. "Harder!"

Kaidan set a demanding pace, slamming into her core as hard as possible, over and over. The force of his thrusts making Shepard's body crash into the wall, then rebound and meet his next thrust into her. With each powerful stroke he drove his cock deeper into her willing body and took them closer and closer to the very edge of passion.

Panting and nearly delirious with passion, Shepard felt a telling warmth gathering in her belly. "K…gonna…c…cum."

Not slowing his pace, Kaidan wrapped his hands around her waist and pulled her down into each powerful thrust of his hips, each going impossibly deeper inside of her.

"Yes!" she screamed as she came, unraveling at the seams. She felt her he unraveled and came hard, her walls clamping down around Kaidan's cock, which was still buried deep inside of her body.

"God!" Kaidan cried out. With a last shuddering stroke he came, spilling himself deeply inside of her body, filling her with his heat.

They rode out the crashing waves of pleasure together, holding tight to each other.

Finally spent, Kaidan let go of Shepard's legs so she could stand up. Resting a forearm to support his weight, he propped himself up and tried to catch his breath.

"Kaidan," Shepard panted after a long, quiet moment.

"I know," he answered, nuzzling her neck gently, "I know."

Twining her fingers in the curls on his head, Shepard whispered, "You know I'll have to thank Joker later."

"Hmmmm?" he questioned, kissing her neck.

"That was mind blowing."

"Was?" he questioned. They slipped to the floor, wrapped up together. "The night is still young and if we're stuck in here, I plan on making the most of it…."

 **The End…**

 _ **A/N: Thanks all! This was a blast! AlyssAlenko, hope you love it as much as I loved writing it!**_


End file.
